Is it ten at night, or morning? Night float has me properly confused.
Of course it is actually night, and I sit in the resident conference room. I'm not thinking a bit about this current cycle, or hormone levels, or endometrium thicknesses. I'm not calculating when and on what day we will get our beta-hCG results. I'm not wondering how I will take the news, be it good or bad, and where I might be when we get The Call.
I am perfectly captivated by Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine.
PS If you believe that, there's a bridge to Brooklyn I'd like to sell you.
I've actually been doing well thus far. I have been reading Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children. It's quite interesting, and the style is unique. This is the first of his books which I've read. I don't yet understand why it led to the ramifications to which it did, but my Indian history is practically non-existant, so perhaps that's why. I've watched some episodes of the "Lizzie Bennet Diaries" which are a wonderful modernization of Pride and Prejudice. I still recommend the book beacuse Jane Austen is AWESOME and HILARIOUS, but these are a nice adaptation. It's spring and the air is heady with lilacs, and Husband and I have started taking walks outside again. Modern life keeps us so cooped up inside, and with the constant pull of technology, it's too easy to forget that there is, indeed, a Real World out there. (And yes, I did indeed spend a fair amount of time studying the Romantic Period.) It's also so difficult to disconnect from technology. At least when we walk, we might look up the answer to a question on our smartphones, but we're actually talking to each other. No television or computer in the background. Although, we are fans of Doctor Who, and of the Big Bang Theory, and have been watching both. I also very much enjoyed Verdi's Aida last night, but Husband was non-plussed. I suppose this is not surprising as his patience is equal to a two-year-old's. (But a lovable two-year-old's.) I love the music, and the spectacle, and the story, and the singing was quite good. The set was also very well done -- not extravangant, but appropriate, and with a very interesting color scheme involving ltos of green.
Anyway, back to learning. See you all tomorrow!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Of kidneys and conferences and textbooks
So once again it has been a while...
I suppose that's what another busy rotation does to you! I just finished the Nephrology consult services. In other words, I am (was) your friendly neighborhood kidney doctor. It was a relatively busy month, covering two to three connected hospitals with at least one and not uncommonly two new consults prior to 0900 attending rounds. But Nephrology is an interesting field. I enjoy working through acid-base problems. I like using the primary data to inform my clinical decision making. Yes, that means I looked at a lot of urine. Well, okay, to be precise I centrifuged samples of urine and examined the sediment under a microscope. It's actually fun. I promise.
And should any of you be struggling with acid-base, I will pass on the NFR approach to acid-base. Fun for the whole family. If your family are physicians. Otherwise they might switch topics.
1. What is the pH? Acidemic, alkalemic, or noremic? (REMEMBER: -emia is the status, -osis is a process). This gives a clue as to the primary problem, because you can NEVER compensate past normal.
2. Look either at the bicarb or the pCO2 next, based on what your results are and what the pH is. Does there seem to be an acidosis, or an alkalosis?
3. Check for appropriate compensation by applying the requisite formula. No compensation? You've got a double disorder!
4. Calculate your anion gap, remembering to correct for albumin.
5. Calculate your delta gap (observed gap minus expected gap) and if you have an anion-gap metabolic acidosis, calculate your delta-delta gap (change in AG over the change in bicarb, or just add the delta gap to the bicarb and see what it comes out to be.) If the delta-delta is greater than about two, or adding to the bicarb makes it over about 29, you've got a concommittant metabolic alkalosis. If it is still low, you have a concommittant non-gap acidosis.
6. You should have thought of most of these, though because you took a good...HISTORY!
Like I said, fun for the whole family.
We had some great attendings and I learned a lot; each had a different style. I prefer to have one rounder for at least two weeks but ideally a full month, but I guess there is something to be said for experiencing different approaches. The overarching message seemed to be to think critically, and never rush dialysis. And of course avoid nephrotoxins and measure those ins and outs and electrolytes.
Now I'll be moving on to night float. We work from 8:00pm to 10:30am maximum, three nights on and two nights off. It's not a terrible schedule as night float goes. But I don't think well in the middle of the night. I'm tired and my brain shuts down. So, I'm a bit worried about being the senior resident and being responsible for proper workup of my patients. I'll just have to do my best.
In other news, we are quickly approaching oocyte retrieval and then of course transfer day. I honestly just want this to be over. Surrogate told me her endometrium is the thickest it's been in any of the cycles thus far, which I guess is a good thing; and there are several follicles developing in my Donor. I don't want to get my hopes up, though. I just want this cycle over with.
Meanwhile, of course it's almost M-day (and I'm NOT talking about my name!) Last year this time I was fresh from losing Sweetpea before he/she even made it to six weeks. It was a hard day. This year it will be my fourth married un-mother day. But I decided to buy myself something:
I didn't want something angry because I don't want to make a scene at Mother's Day, and I want to focus on my own wonderful Mother and Mama Phyll. But I want people to know that it's a hard day for me, and that I wish I too was a mother. (I found the shirt at Cafe Press, by the way.) For the newer infertiles, I have no good advice on surviving the day. Sorry :o( At least there are usually sweets.
Hmmm...what else? I came back from a major medical conference at which I had a wonderful time. We were in a city I'd never visited before and it is lovely, very walkable and with two key features: a fabulous bookstore and a Cheesecake Factory :o) I partook of both, of course! I presented a poster about a patient of mine with Turner's Syndrome and Coronary Artery Disease. It was a bit nerve-wracking but it turned out there was no on-site judging (had all been in the submission phase) so I didn't have to present formally, and if I do say so myself, I looked pretty good in my brand new suit and my sparkly eye makeup with my killer mascara. I also attended a great update on chronic kidney disease and some wonderful workshops, one on narrative medicine and one on patient-centered interviewing.
Since then? Well, it's become spring overnight here in my home town. The trees are all blossoming: cherry trees, magnolias, dogwoods (I think?) and others I can't name. The air is pure perfume and the sun is finally shining. It does wonders for my mood.
Anyway, I think it's time to finish this VERY long post. But wait -- I wanted to tell you, dear readers, of my "marathon" goal, in the style of K who is working from couch to 5K right now. Training for a marathon isn't feasible now, although I try to powerwalk my way through lectures as much as possible. But my personal marathon is more career based. The Internal Medicine "bible" is a text called Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine. (If you read Cecil, sorry. It's not the same.) I intend to complete all of it. Yes, I mean ALL. There's plenty of time. My first goal is the section on cardinal manifestations and presentations of common illnesses. I will do one topic a week at least. I also want to finish Nephro since I'm close. And otherwise, read according to my patients, at least twice a week.
Can I do it? Let's find out? And if you're a doctor, you're welcome to join me :o) Otherwise, see you on my powerwalks outside. Can we get four a week?
I suppose that's what another busy rotation does to you! I just finished the Nephrology consult services. In other words, I am (was) your friendly neighborhood kidney doctor. It was a relatively busy month, covering two to three connected hospitals with at least one and not uncommonly two new consults prior to 0900 attending rounds. But Nephrology is an interesting field. I enjoy working through acid-base problems. I like using the primary data to inform my clinical decision making. Yes, that means I looked at a lot of urine. Well, okay, to be precise I centrifuged samples of urine and examined the sediment under a microscope. It's actually fun. I promise.
And should any of you be struggling with acid-base, I will pass on the NFR approach to acid-base. Fun for the whole family. If your family are physicians. Otherwise they might switch topics.
1. What is the pH? Acidemic, alkalemic, or noremic? (REMEMBER: -emia is the status, -osis is a process). This gives a clue as to the primary problem, because you can NEVER compensate past normal.
2. Look either at the bicarb or the pCO2 next, based on what your results are and what the pH is. Does there seem to be an acidosis, or an alkalosis?
3. Check for appropriate compensation by applying the requisite formula. No compensation? You've got a double disorder!
4. Calculate your anion gap, remembering to correct for albumin.
5. Calculate your delta gap (observed gap minus expected gap) and if you have an anion-gap metabolic acidosis, calculate your delta-delta gap (change in AG over the change in bicarb, or just add the delta gap to the bicarb and see what it comes out to be.) If the delta-delta is greater than about two, or adding to the bicarb makes it over about 29, you've got a concommittant metabolic alkalosis. If it is still low, you have a concommittant non-gap acidosis.
6. You should have thought of most of these, though because you took a good...HISTORY!
Like I said, fun for the whole family.
We had some great attendings and I learned a lot; each had a different style. I prefer to have one rounder for at least two weeks but ideally a full month, but I guess there is something to be said for experiencing different approaches. The overarching message seemed to be to think critically, and never rush dialysis. And of course avoid nephrotoxins and measure those ins and outs and electrolytes.
Now I'll be moving on to night float. We work from 8:00pm to 10:30am maximum, three nights on and two nights off. It's not a terrible schedule as night float goes. But I don't think well in the middle of the night. I'm tired and my brain shuts down. So, I'm a bit worried about being the senior resident and being responsible for proper workup of my patients. I'll just have to do my best.
In other news, we are quickly approaching oocyte retrieval and then of course transfer day. I honestly just want this to be over. Surrogate told me her endometrium is the thickest it's been in any of the cycles thus far, which I guess is a good thing; and there are several follicles developing in my Donor. I don't want to get my hopes up, though. I just want this cycle over with.
Meanwhile, of course it's almost M-day (and I'm NOT talking about my name!) Last year this time I was fresh from losing Sweetpea before he/she even made it to six weeks. It was a hard day. This year it will be my fourth married un-mother day. But I decided to buy myself something:
I didn't want something angry because I don't want to make a scene at Mother's Day, and I want to focus on my own wonderful Mother and Mama Phyll. But I want people to know that it's a hard day for me, and that I wish I too was a mother. (I found the shirt at Cafe Press, by the way.) For the newer infertiles, I have no good advice on surviving the day. Sorry :o( At least there are usually sweets.
Hmmm...what else? I came back from a major medical conference at which I had a wonderful time. We were in a city I'd never visited before and it is lovely, very walkable and with two key features: a fabulous bookstore and a Cheesecake Factory :o) I partook of both, of course! I presented a poster about a patient of mine with Turner's Syndrome and Coronary Artery Disease. It was a bit nerve-wracking but it turned out there was no on-site judging (had all been in the submission phase) so I didn't have to present formally, and if I do say so myself, I looked pretty good in my brand new suit and my sparkly eye makeup with my killer mascara. I also attended a great update on chronic kidney disease and some wonderful workshops, one on narrative medicine and one on patient-centered interviewing.
Since then? Well, it's become spring overnight here in my home town. The trees are all blossoming: cherry trees, magnolias, dogwoods (I think?) and others I can't name. The air is pure perfume and the sun is finally shining. It does wonders for my mood.
Anyway, I think it's time to finish this VERY long post. But wait -- I wanted to tell you, dear readers, of my "marathon" goal, in the style of K who is working from couch to 5K right now. Training for a marathon isn't feasible now, although I try to powerwalk my way through lectures as much as possible. But my personal marathon is more career based. The Internal Medicine "bible" is a text called Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine. (If you read Cecil, sorry. It's not the same.) I intend to complete all of it. Yes, I mean ALL. There's plenty of time. My first goal is the section on cardinal manifestations and presentations of common illnesses. I will do one topic a week at least. I also want to finish Nephro since I'm close. And otherwise, read according to my patients, at least twice a week.
Can I do it? Let's find out? And if you're a doctor, you're welcome to join me :o) Otherwise, see you on my powerwalks outside. Can we get four a week?
Friday, April 12, 2013
I am lying in bed after an abbreviated Shabbos dinner. (Husband was tired and wanted to come home early.) It was one of those days when I spent a LOT of time thinking about infertility. I recognize now that these things ebb and flow. A year or so ago the depression was really getting to me. Now I realize it's just what is, and it waxes and wanes, and I have to try to enjoy the good moments and remember that the horrible moments won't last forever. I don't stop myself from being sad, I just let it happen. Fighting takes too much energy. With the sun I am usually better, and I am hoping we can finally shed the ski jackets sometime soon because seriously, April, it is too darn COLD.
We got the draft of our egg donor contract back. Husband already looked it over and said she is asking for a lot of revisions and he wonders if some are unreasonable. I still have to take a look. But I worry, too -- I'm rather a captive audience, aren't I? I just hope things work out.
I have been thinking too, what I would do if this cycle and the next cycle fail. Husband is still against adoption and I don't know how much more IVF I can do. I have my doubts even about this but am not giving up yet. I try to think about what I can do and what could bring me joy if (G-d forbid) I don't have a baby. It will never add up and it will never replace. And I would rather die than live childless. But life is a gift from G-d so that's not really an option.
- I can (theoretically) be a kickbutt physician, the one other doctors see when they need medical attention.
- I can finish writing my novel and be an author, dividing my time between clinical and educational duties and my writing. It works for Abraham Verghese.
- I can still make kickbutt challah, cake, and matza-ball soup. (Yes, I will provide the recipes one of these days)
- there will still be chocolate soufflé and cake-batter flavored ice cream to eat
- there will still be tea with sweetener and lemon
- there will be opera and theater and ballet
- there will be falafel and pita and jachnun in Israel
- the Mediterranean
- nachal zaki נחל זאכי, my favorite hike -- or it is a swim?
- I can still inspire students at the bedside
- I can still read a good book in bed until I can't keep my eyes open anymore
- music: Beethoven and Mozart and Bach and Chopin and Tchaikovsky and more
- frosting :o) by the spoonful, straight from the container
- the smell of new books at a bookstore
I think that's enough for a sleepy night with eight patients to see before rounds tomorrow morning. Nephrology is fascinating but I want sleep! And we are going to see Aida tomorrow night. Viva Verdi! (or is that Vittorio Emannuel Regnum d'Italia for you history buffs)
And one last question, dear readers: I have been thinking about the idea of Infertility Photos as a foil to the maternity photos my friends keep posting. I want pictures too! I don't know what exactly I would do, or how much it would cost (not wiling to spend much). But I am on a journey too, and it's longer and more painful, and I don't ever want to forget this time.
Any creative people have ideas for Infertility Photos? I don't actually intend to make them public, but I sort of want something for myself.
Anyway, that's all for tonight. Shabbat Shalom, everyone!
We got the draft of our egg donor contract back. Husband already looked it over and said she is asking for a lot of revisions and he wonders if some are unreasonable. I still have to take a look. But I worry, too -- I'm rather a captive audience, aren't I? I just hope things work out.
I have been thinking too, what I would do if this cycle and the next cycle fail. Husband is still against adoption and I don't know how much more IVF I can do. I have my doubts even about this but am not giving up yet. I try to think about what I can do and what could bring me joy if (G-d forbid) I don't have a baby. It will never add up and it will never replace. And I would rather die than live childless. But life is a gift from G-d so that's not really an option.
- I can (theoretically) be a kickbutt physician, the one other doctors see when they need medical attention.
- I can finish writing my novel and be an author, dividing my time between clinical and educational duties and my writing. It works for Abraham Verghese.
- I can still make kickbutt challah, cake, and matza-ball soup. (Yes, I will provide the recipes one of these days)
- there will still be chocolate soufflé and cake-batter flavored ice cream to eat
- there will still be tea with sweetener and lemon
- there will be opera and theater and ballet
- there will be falafel and pita and jachnun in Israel
- the Mediterranean
- nachal zaki נחל זאכי, my favorite hike -- or it is a swim?
- I can still inspire students at the bedside
- I can still read a good book in bed until I can't keep my eyes open anymore
- music: Beethoven and Mozart and Bach and Chopin and Tchaikovsky and more
- frosting :o) by the spoonful, straight from the container
- the smell of new books at a bookstore
I think that's enough for a sleepy night with eight patients to see before rounds tomorrow morning. Nephrology is fascinating but I want sleep! And we are going to see Aida tomorrow night. Viva Verdi! (or is that Vittorio Emannuel Regnum d'Italia for you history buffs)
And one last question, dear readers: I have been thinking about the idea of Infertility Photos as a foil to the maternity photos my friends keep posting. I want pictures too! I don't know what exactly I would do, or how much it would cost (not wiling to spend much). But I am on a journey too, and it's longer and more painful, and I don't ever want to forget this time.
Any creative people have ideas for Infertility Photos? I don't actually intend to make them public, but I sort of want something for myself.
Anyway, that's all for tonight. Shabbat Shalom, everyone!
Friday, April 5, 2013
I know, once again I have left you, dear readership. It's just been a very low-energy period for me. I managed to go on the treadmill once, and outside once (which did wonders for my mood as per the Romantic dictum of the child in Nature), but other than that, I have felt like a complete slug. I suspect it's psychosomatic. A year ago we lost the second pregnancy. I remember so well -- we were eating at מקום של בשר in Tel Aviv, a fancy meat restaurant, with S and E who were two months from delivering their baby boy, and S created a wifi hotspot and I received a bad news email. It was before our food even came so I had to maintain a public face for the rest of the night. Then we went back to the hotel and go figure -- what was on television? Father of the Bride Part Two (just at the part where the two women have babies). We switched the channel. Fate was against us: Tali from the Israeli show Ramzor (רמזור) was having her baby in the episode that was airing.
But I made it through. I didn't think I could possibly lose another baby after Baby A and my sweet Peanut. But after we lost my Sweatpea, I finished internship, and now I have almost finished my second year of residency. I don't even have another call month. My evaluations dropped slightly but you know what, I made it through. And that has to be a victory of some kind. And while I hope and pray that I never deal with another trans-Atlantic miscarriage, I guess that if I survived before, I could survive again. (And this time, I would not be afraid to make an expensive phone call if it made me feel better!)
But maybe I'll just have a BFN. And who knows? Retrieval and transfer must happen first, of course. we do have tentative dates for those but I prefer not to share yet. I do know we plan on a two-embryo transfer and that once again, I probably won't be able to make it to the transfer. I guess there's nothing much I would do there anyway, but it does feel strange to be so removed.
Anyway, that's the IVFun (not) update.
In other aspects of life, we had our annual mimouna party, where Husband and I pretend we are Moroccan Jews and whip of a huge batch of mufletot and other sweets to celebrate the end of Passover. This year we had forty-six guests!!! It was a bit of work but a lot of fun, and my beloved Mama Phyll and her best friend helped a lot. My semolina cake was a big hit; I'll try to remember to translate the recipe into English sometime soon. I hope everyone enjoyed him or herself but I was so busy trying to entertain everyone that I don't even know!
We also booked our flight to Israel today (we're going in June) and it will cost us only 400 total because we used miles. Whoohoo!!! We are looking at a boutique hotel in TA to use as a vacation from our vacation. Husband wants to try the Diaghilev -- has anyone been or heard about it?
And in professional development: I think I have finally decided on a career in Infectious Diseases. I still hesitate, but I think the decision was pretty much made. I hope Dr. C wasn't joking when he essentially guaranteed me a spot!
I think that covers most bases. I am hoping to get a full night's rest so will be going to bed now. Goodnight, gut Shabbos, Shabbat Shalom, etc. Will try to keep up better if I can.
But I made it through. I didn't think I could possibly lose another baby after Baby A and my sweet Peanut. But after we lost my Sweatpea, I finished internship, and now I have almost finished my second year of residency. I don't even have another call month. My evaluations dropped slightly but you know what, I made it through. And that has to be a victory of some kind. And while I hope and pray that I never deal with another trans-Atlantic miscarriage, I guess that if I survived before, I could survive again. (And this time, I would not be afraid to make an expensive phone call if it made me feel better!)
But maybe I'll just have a BFN. And who knows? Retrieval and transfer must happen first, of course. we do have tentative dates for those but I prefer not to share yet. I do know we plan on a two-embryo transfer and that once again, I probably won't be able to make it to the transfer. I guess there's nothing much I would do there anyway, but it does feel strange to be so removed.
Anyway, that's the IVFun (not) update.
In other aspects of life, we had our annual mimouna party, where Husband and I pretend we are Moroccan Jews and whip of a huge batch of mufletot and other sweets to celebrate the end of Passover. This year we had forty-six guests!!! It was a bit of work but a lot of fun, and my beloved Mama Phyll and her best friend helped a lot. My semolina cake was a big hit; I'll try to remember to translate the recipe into English sometime soon. I hope everyone enjoyed him or herself but I was so busy trying to entertain everyone that I don't even know!
We also booked our flight to Israel today (we're going in June) and it will cost us only 400 total because we used miles. Whoohoo!!! We are looking at a boutique hotel in TA to use as a vacation from our vacation. Husband wants to try the Diaghilev -- has anyone been or heard about it?
And in professional development: I think I have finally decided on a career in Infectious Diseases. I still hesitate, but I think the decision was pretty much made. I hope Dr. C wasn't joking when he essentially guaranteed me a spot!
I think that covers most bases. I am hoping to get a full night's rest so will be going to bed now. Goodnight, gut Shabbos, Shabbat Shalom, etc. Will try to keep up better if I can.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
And to top it off: your daily dose of irony
This letter came for me in the mail this week. I can't post the letter because of course it has my true name, but here is the transcription:
Dear _____:
Birth control is not one size fits all. Long-acting reversible contraception is becoming increasingly popular among women seeking a reliable and highly effective method. MOre women are opting for long-acting birth control such as intrauterine devices (IUDs) and progestin implants.
Both of these forms of contraception have proved more than 99 percent effective ant preventing unintended pregnancy for as long as you want -- from three to 10 years, depending on the type. The insertion of these devices is a simple procedure that is provided in our office by our specially trained physician.
The family physicians of ________________ are dedicated to helping you fid the birth control method that is right for you. Our experienced clinicians provide women with a variety of contraception choices, including:
Dear _____:
Birth control is not one size fits all. Long-acting reversible contraception is becoming increasingly popular among women seeking a reliable and highly effective method. MOre women are opting for long-acting birth control such as intrauterine devices (IUDs) and progestin implants.
Both of these forms of contraception have proved more than 99 percent effective ant preventing unintended pregnancy for as long as you want -- from three to 10 years, depending on the type. The insertion of these devices is a simple procedure that is provided in our office by our specially trained physician.
The family physicians of ________________ are dedicated to helping you fid the birth control method that is right for you. Our experienced clinicians provide women with a variety of contraception choices, including:
- The copper and progestin IUD
- The progestin implant
- Birth control pill, patch or ring
- Injectable contraceptives
- Diaphragm fittings
No birth control option is right for everyone. Call _________ today to make an appointment to discuss your contraception options and receive a free makeup bag.
My question: can I still get the makeup bag?
Maybe I should write them back:
Dear _____,
I appreciate your offer to assist me with my family planning. I actually decided none of your methods was effective enough, so I chose to be born with an even more certain birth-control method: the have-only-one-fatty-streak-ovary method. It works so well I can't even get a gestational carrier using a donor-egg embryo to produce a live baby! So I just can't rely on your leave-it-to-chance medical interventions. I do appreciate the offer and your reminder of my infertility, though. Until I opened your letter I hadn't thought about infertility for HOURS! It was quite kind of you.
Oh, and one tip: if diaphragms worked well, I wouldn't exist. Ask my mother.
The long-promised update
So yes, life has been busy. Mostly I have been working. My four-week rotation in the CCU (cardiac care unit) seems to have taken a fair amount out of me. I don't want to complain when I say we worked hard -- that's what you do as a resident. There's no other way to learn. But working almost eighty hours a week doesn't leave much time for anything else, including blogging. Now I have a brief reprieve in the form of two weeks of Neurology. We have weekends off! That's right -- I didn't work yesterday, and I didn't work again today! I could get used to this -- or rather, I wish I was able to get used to this, but it's just two weeks and then back to business.
I've had some self-pity moments, especially when I counted the pregnant women around me. There are at least four nurses, one resident, one fellow, one of my best friends (but she lives out of town so I don't see her often), another fellow from last month (though I don't see her often), and then a speech pathologist. Then there are more peripheral people as well. I think my current total is twelve. Seriously!?!? But I guess that's (the fertile) life. I don't know anyone in real life who is infertile. Thank goodness for the blogosphere for reminding me none of us is alone! I'm not sure I could keep going otherwise.
It does seem to help when I find other ways to fill my time. When I get to teach medical students that helps. Yesterday I had a great time with two of my closest friends. I went to the local art museum and then a tea shop with one. (Our city's cultural attractions are vastly underestimated.) Then another friend and I went to dinner and a high school musical, which was actually surprisingly good. She came over afterward and Husband, E, and I watched "Brave," which was very cute. Pixar is pretty dependable. Today Husband and I went to a buffet lunch at a wonderful Syrian restaurant and had all the delicacies I miss from Israel and my aunt's family: bamya, mujadra, cauliflower with tehina zaatar pie...all sorts of goodies! And then I made plans for us for next weekend with an Iraeli ex-pat couple, and luckily it works out best without their kids, so I won't feel sad. We need more couple-friends and it would be especially nice to have some Israeli ones. Who else understands why American pita is a poor copy of the real deal? Who else understands why queues are silly and punctuality is even sillier? Or why planning ahead is just dumb when you can invite people last minute?
Anyway...
I have precious little to report on the non-baby scene. Our Donor and Surrogate have had some recent checkups that went well, and it looks like the IVFailure #5 transfer will be in early May. I expect nothing and am worried because the dates will coincide almost exactly with the cycle two years ago that almost resulted in a son. Let's hope this is a חוויה מתקנת (correcting experience). We have to make sure the contracts are all in order, and then it's just wait and pray. I also worry because G-d willing we will be going to Israel for the first two weeks of June, which is prime miscarriage time if the cycle takes. Having been there and done that, coping with such sadness thousands of miles away from my support network is not my idea of fun. Add to that the fact that our Israeli friends are mostly on baby #2 and all have at least one, and we will be stuck seeing some brand new babies too, and you get the picture. So I just really hope we don't have another distance miscarriage. And a live baby/babies would be a nice bonus.
So that is my current state. A week from Monday is Erev Pesach, so I will be busy this week shopping and cleaning and preparing. It'll be busy but I do love the seder, although I will miss my aunt and uncle and their little ones who will be in Afula. (No fair! I want to go too!)
What else? It's still snowy, but I hope the weather turns by the seder. After all, Pesach is supposed to be a spring holiday. What kind of spring is it when the weather is barely above freezing?
Have a restful rest of the weekend, everyone! I will try to be more timely. I may also post about the passing of one of my continuity clinic patients. She was young, and chronically ill, but her passing was most unexpected. I don't think I can reveal more particulars but it was the most shocking phone call I got this morning, and I still can't believe the woman who called me last night is now dead. Baruch dayan emet and condolences to her family.
I've had some self-pity moments, especially when I counted the pregnant women around me. There are at least four nurses, one resident, one fellow, one of my best friends (but she lives out of town so I don't see her often), another fellow from last month (though I don't see her often), and then a speech pathologist. Then there are more peripheral people as well. I think my current total is twelve. Seriously!?!? But I guess that's (the fertile) life. I don't know anyone in real life who is infertile. Thank goodness for the blogosphere for reminding me none of us is alone! I'm not sure I could keep going otherwise.
It does seem to help when I find other ways to fill my time. When I get to teach medical students that helps. Yesterday I had a great time with two of my closest friends. I went to the local art museum and then a tea shop with one. (Our city's cultural attractions are vastly underestimated.) Then another friend and I went to dinner and a high school musical, which was actually surprisingly good. She came over afterward and Husband, E, and I watched "Brave," which was very cute. Pixar is pretty dependable. Today Husband and I went to a buffet lunch at a wonderful Syrian restaurant and had all the delicacies I miss from Israel and my aunt's family: bamya, mujadra, cauliflower with tehina zaatar pie...all sorts of goodies! And then I made plans for us for next weekend with an Iraeli ex-pat couple, and luckily it works out best without their kids, so I won't feel sad. We need more couple-friends and it would be especially nice to have some Israeli ones. Who else understands why American pita is a poor copy of the real deal? Who else understands why queues are silly and punctuality is even sillier? Or why planning ahead is just dumb when you can invite people last minute?
Anyway...
I have precious little to report on the non-baby scene. Our Donor and Surrogate have had some recent checkups that went well, and it looks like the IVFailure #5 transfer will be in early May. I expect nothing and am worried because the dates will coincide almost exactly with the cycle two years ago that almost resulted in a son. Let's hope this is a חוויה מתקנת (correcting experience). We have to make sure the contracts are all in order, and then it's just wait and pray. I also worry because G-d willing we will be going to Israel for the first two weeks of June, which is prime miscarriage time if the cycle takes. Having been there and done that, coping with such sadness thousands of miles away from my support network is not my idea of fun. Add to that the fact that our Israeli friends are mostly on baby #2 and all have at least one, and we will be stuck seeing some brand new babies too, and you get the picture. So I just really hope we don't have another distance miscarriage. And a live baby/babies would be a nice bonus.
So that is my current state. A week from Monday is Erev Pesach, so I will be busy this week shopping and cleaning and preparing. It'll be busy but I do love the seder, although I will miss my aunt and uncle and their little ones who will be in Afula. (No fair! I want to go too!)
What else? It's still snowy, but I hope the weather turns by the seder. After all, Pesach is supposed to be a spring holiday. What kind of spring is it when the weather is barely above freezing?
Have a restful rest of the weekend, everyone! I will try to be more timely. I may also post about the passing of one of my continuity clinic patients. She was young, and chronically ill, but her passing was most unexpected. I don't think I can reveal more particulars but it was the most shocking phone call I got this morning, and I still can't believe the woman who called me last night is now dead. Baruch dayan emet and condolences to her family.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Apologies for my long absence -- will post more tomorrow
Sorry for my very long absence from the blog world. Life in the CCU (cardiac care unit) was a full-time operation and then some! But I am rotating on Neurology right now and should be able to update tomorrow. And I will try to stay on top of things!
Take care everyone! And here's the public service announcement of the day:
IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS HAVING A STROKE, SEEK MEDICAL CARE IMMEDIATELY! Clot-busting treatment is key in certain strokes, but can only be given within the first 4.5 hours starting from when the stroke victim was last seen normal. SO GET HELP QUICKLY!
Sweet dreams,
Mim
Take care everyone! And here's the public service announcement of the day:
IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS HAVING A STROKE, SEEK MEDICAL CARE IMMEDIATELY! Clot-busting treatment is key in certain strokes, but can only be given within the first 4.5 hours starting from when the stroke victim was last seen normal. SO GET HELP QUICKLY!
Sweet dreams,
Mim
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)