Friday, October 28, 2011

Well, here we go again...

Different agency, different surrogate, same process.  Tomorrow we're scheduled to have a conference-call "meeting" in order to get to know a potential new surrogate since she lives in a very far-away state.   

For anyone curious about what these meetings entail, they are usually moderated by somebody from the surrogacy agency or by a psychologist.  The questions usually are  

  o   General Background (hobbies, employment, family, residence)
  o   Fertility Story (physician, reason for using a gestational carrier, fertility treatment history and future plans)
  o   Surrogacy Expectations (communication, presence during prenatal visits, delivery)
  o   Thoughts regarding multiples (including how many embryos will be transferred, views on selective reduction)
  o   Views on genetic testing as well as termination of an abnormal fetus. 

Right now I'm dreading another go-round.  Honestly, I'm terrified to do this again.  It just seems like it's only a matter of time until the next disappointment.  And the cruel thing is, the disappointment usually hits just when my hopes are highest.

So meanwhile I'm trying to protect myself.  When nothing works I'll devote myself to my patients and spoil my littlest cousin and pretend she is my own.  I will get used to it.  You can get used to anything, right?  And I'll cling to the promise of those six babies I will (hopefully not until I have lived a long and full life) have in Heaven.

On that strange note, those of us setting alarms of 0530 tomorrow had better go to sleep.  Goodnight all!

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