Mother's Day, Infertile-Style

Tomorrow is, of course, Mother's Day.  Also known as "Flaunt your fertility" day or "Happy working gonads day."

I am trying not to be bitter.  It isn't working well.  Had things gone as hoped, I would had a baby boy right now, or actually twins, and then another baby on the way.

But my arms are empty for another Mother's day.

I am trying to remember how lucky I am.  How many people must remember mothers who are gone this Mother's Day?  I can't even imagine how horrible and catastrophic it must be to lose one's mother.  I am so incredibly grateful to have my Mama and my Mama Phyll.  And I know the point of Mother's Day is to celebrate one's own mother, not to be upset about being excluded from the club.

But I will never compare stories of morning sickness.  I will never have war wounds from pregnancy, labor, and delivery.  I will stay silent as my friends come up with cute ideas for telling their husbands they are pregnant.  And *if* we ever even end up with a baby, or so close to delivery that we want to tell people (like, 39 weeks, perhaps?) I will receive quizzical looks instead of congratulations, as every is confused at my empty belly.  I will explain, and most people will understand, and ask more questions because they find it fascinating.  (We're doctors, remember?)

It is not fascinating.

It hurts.

It especially hurts when two people today wish me a Happy Mother's Day.  Ummm...thanks?  Are you bringing the  baby as a present?

I have however come up with some dark humor.

I would invite my family for brunch this year, and make eggs, but -- oh!  I don't have any!

(And yes.  You were supposed to laugh.)

It was a very long week returning to work.  I have the day off tomorrow, though, I don't have more to write now because I am exhausted from a very long week at the hospital and some needy patients.  Thank goodness I have a day off tomorrow!