...only to be headed toward another busy one: cardiac care unit. But at least I have done my two months as a senior resident leading a team and for the rest of the year only need to supervise myself. Leading a team is challenging, especially when you constantly function with half a team because of peoples' days off and clinics. It's disjointed and I wish there was a better system. But nobody wants to read about how the ACGME mandated duty hours actually harm my education and patient care, so I will step down from my soapbox.
I don't have much of an update right now on operation In Futility. I can tell you that this next cycle may be a major reflective point. If it fails, we are again out of embryos. I don't know what the next move should be. Do we find a third egg donor and transfer to a different clinic? Northwestern clearly hasn't brought us great success and I know there are some excellent clinics in Surrogate's state. But is there a point? Why do the same thing over and expect different results?
Except I don't know what other option I have. Husband is still absolutely unwilling to adopt. And I am unwilling to live without children. My mentor/internist/person who tolerates my self-centered ridiculousness says that Husband will reconsider with time and that I should learn patience. I know she's right that I need to learn patience. But I'm not patient. I have never been patient. I wish I could be but I don't even know how to learn patience.
Dear readers: How does one learn patience? Can it even be taught? Personality traits are so difficult to change.