CITY, STATE – _______ University Internal Medicine resident M. and her husband I. were apprehended earlier today while attempting to kidnap two newborn
girls from the _____ Women’s Health Hospital.
The couple, who are unable to conceive due to a chromosomal
abnormality, have been exploring various options for family-building since
December 2009. While originally
intending to pursue in-vitro fertilization using a donated ovum, the couple
learned in June 2010 that health risks made carrying a pregnancy too dangerous
for M. “It wasn’t easy to
accept that I’d never have the adorable baby belly and that our private issue
would become public knowledge, but eventually I accepted what I could not
change,” states the first-year resident planning to pursue a career in academic internal medicine. She and her
husband I. (a Master’s candidate also at _______ University) started the
process to find a surrogate mother to carry the child.
I. states, “It was just taking so
long, and it isn’t even legal in our state so we would have to go to Chicago,
and I just hate driving long distances.
So we came up with an alternative plan.”
"We also felt this would be more cost-effective," adds M. "Surrogacy can total over one-hundred thousand dollars. Our ski masks cost fifty dollars for the two of us, and we used a scissors from home to cut the Hugs tags."
Indeed, the couple went to their local Bavarian Village store and
purchased two black ski masks.
Faces covered, they went to the hospital, which is part of
the ________ Medical Center.
A security guard tried to bar the entrance but backed down when threatened with a
stethoscope and a Queen Square reflex hammer. M. then used her student identification
card to gain access to the nursery.
Inside, she and I. blinded the on-duty nurses with specially-augmented Panoptic ophthalmoscope. They then
chose two newborn girls, cut off the infants’ Hugs tags, and exited the secure area. They were apprehended when M. realized she had failed to perform the medicine reconciliation and stopped to fill out a form at the closest nursing station.
The newborn infants were safely returned to their respective mothers, seventeen-year-old A and sixteen-year-old B. Neither mothers nor babies were available for comment.
Sometimes, I really do wonder if that might be the easiest way to get a baby. It's just that I have a feeling they don't let you continue your residency if you go to jail.
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