Sunday, March 11, 2012

Some advantages of being unable to carry a child about which you might not have thought

Most people can list some "advantages" of being forced to outsource pregnancy: no weight gain, no stretch marks, no flabby belly, no morning sickness, no heartburn, no caffeine or alcohol restrictions, and no labor.

But why focus on the obvious?  There are so many other advantages and so many things we CAN do!
 - We can empty Kitty's letterbox -- no need to worry about toxoplasmosis.
 - We can pinpoint exactly the moment of conception to forever embarrass our children.
 - nobody can ever say our future children weren't wanted.
 - We can deliver the ultimate guilt trip: "Before you were even born you were so expensive we could have travelled to and from Israel 54 times."  And yes, I am talking about round-trip tickets for two.
 - I am spending an exorbitant sum trying to make a baby, but I don't have to purchase prenatal vitamins!
 - Instead of prenatal vitamins, I got to continue taking raimpril and now losartan to treat my hypertension.  if I were pregnant, I'd need to take labetalol instead, which is a) less convenient because it requires BID or TID dosing and b)lacks benefits unique to ACEis and ARBs, such as renoprotection.  We wouldn't want a mommy on dialysis!
 - If things work out one day, I will get to show my newborn(s) off to an entire airport and a plane of lucky passengers.
 - In the meantime, I get to obsess on a daily basis about my loss and my infertility.  Anybody can do internship in a normal emotional state.  Only the truly tough can do it with 90% of her heart and her brain elsewhere.

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